I really never thought,of all people,I would be shedding tears drops all over my faded pillowcase,every single night.
No,I wasn’t always like this.
In fact I am spotted with a joyous smile on my rounded face throughout the day.I am known for my cheerful nature.
I am loved.
I am adored.
But when the moon is high and gleaming in the night sky; when I lie cocooned in my soft red blanket with my eyelids down,the plastic smile I wear everyday departs.A wave of memories flood my mind.Tears escape the clutches of my eyelids, stealthily roll down the sides of my face and bury themselves in my hair.
A torturous pain arises in my chest as I am reminded of what we had.It was beyond just words and promises.I am reminded how you unclothed not my body but my soul. I am reminded of how you put my career before yourself.Your soothing voice plays like a melody in my head over and over and over again.The image of the way you ran your fingers through your dark,soft hair further engraves itself into my soul.Your laughter echoes in the blackness.Your memories…they haunt me.
With every muffled sob,the pain mercilessly penetrates itself further into my heart.And it subsides only when I fall asleep; my eyes tired,my heart pounding.
Although my tears cease,you haunt me even after I’ve wandered into the other world; world of my own; a world where I am the dictator.Even in my world I can’t help but watch as you enter and brighten it up with the smile I fell in love with.You trespass into my world just to fill it with your charisma.Once again,I feel your hands caressing my face.I feel them on my head,patting me as I lie in your arms.You sneak into my world every night,to take me in your embrace and make your love rain on me.You make me smile like a carefree toddler again.You make me giggle like a little girl untouched by the anguish of a broken heart.
But with the miserable screech of the alarm,I am soon dragged back into the world where pain is in abundance,because as soon as I lift my eyelids,neither you nor your love remains. And like everyday,I am left to put the plastic smile back on my dull face while my heart and soul fight a battle against your haunting memories.