Haunted

I really never thought,of all people,I would be shedding tears drops all over my faded pillowcase,every single night.

No,I wasn’t always like this.

In fact I am spotted with a joyous smile on my rounded face throughout the day.I am known for my cheerful nature.

I am loved.

I am adored.

But when the moon is high and gleaming in the night sky; when I lie cocooned in my soft red blanket with my eyelids down,the plastic smile I wear everyday departs.A wave of memories flood my mind.Tears escape the clutches of my eyelids, stealthily roll down the sides of my face and bury themselves in my hair.

A torturous pain arises in my chest as I am reminded of what we had.It was beyond just words and promises.I am reminded how you unclothed not my body but my soul. I am reminded of how you put my career before yourself.Your soothing voice plays like a melody in my head over and over and over again.The image of the way you ran your fingers through your dark,soft hair further engraves itself into my soul.Your laughter echoes in the blackness.Your memories…they haunt me.

With every muffled sob,the pain mercilessly penetrates itself further into my heart.And it subsides only when I fall asleep; my eyes tired,my heart pounding.

Although my tears cease,you haunt me even after I’ve wandered into the other world; world of my own; a world where I am the dictator.Even in my world I can’t help but watch as you enter and brighten it up with the smile I fell in love with.You trespass into my world just to fill it with your charisma.Once again,I feel your hands caressing my face.I feel them on my head,patting me as I lie in your arms.You sneak into my world every night,to take me in your embrace and make your love rain on me.You make me smile like a carefree toddler again.You make me giggle like a little girl untouched by the anguish of a broken heart.

But with the miserable screech of the alarm,I am soon dragged back into the world where pain is in abundance,because as soon as I lift my eyelids,neither you nor your love remains. And like everyday,I am left to put the plastic smile back on my dull face while my heart and soul fight a battle against your haunting memories.

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Give us a chance?

Here,in India,if I were to give a guy, two tickets to a football game and question him about who he would take along with him, I can never expect the answer to be his sister or his girlfriend or any other female being in his life.

“Football isn’t for girls” AND “You will only stare at the players” AND “You don’t even know the players” you simply say.

Being a girl who has recently started watching Football because I actually like the game and not to ogle the players (even though they are absolutely mind blowing!) these are the few things I hear on a daily basis. Unlike my brother,I am never invited to watch football games at our friend’s place.I end up becoming a Popcorn Maker when his friends come over for football nights during which my score predictions are never considered.
Not just that,I am ridiculed when I say I want Manchester United to win because apparently, I support Manchester United because I am not aware of Chelsea FC or Manchester City FC or West Ham FC or Queens Park Rangers FC, so on and so forth. Some boys presume I support Real Madrid just for the sake of the Portuguese heartthrob,Cristiano Ronaldo.

Like an unexpected jackpot round on KBC, I am often quizzed on the names of the players on a particular team. Sometimes, the boys go disappointed; sometimes they succeed in making me feel like a football illiterate.

Yes, I may not have the names of all the players memorized like the Table of elements. But I would like to ask one simple question. Were you born with every player’s name embedded in your memory?

I am sure you weren’t.

Yes, I may not be aware of all the rules yet, but were you when you started watching Football?

I am sure you weren’t.

So why can’t you simple inform us about the players?

Why can’t you leave out the criticism?

Why can’t you take us for a game?

Why can’t you give us a chance?