“Hey Shona,Hey Shona”

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Final Trio.”

For our final trio prompt of the year, write about any topic you wish, but make sure your post features a bookcase, something cracked, and a song you love.

Being a single mother of a hyperactive toddler,I could rarely find time for myself.My days would usually see me rushing home after work to re-unite with my daughter,holding her close to my heart while bidding her eighteen year old babysitter goodbye and then dedicating the rest of my time following her little footprints,ensuring she remained safe and loved.

However tonight,Dia-my gorgeous angel was asleep much earlier than usual.Tonight,I was to be on my own with the freedom to recall everything I had left behind by relocating to a country miles away from home.Tonight,I could be in the company of his thoughts and the memories I had printed with him.

So,I gradually made my way into the study and from the ancient mahogany bookcase I had recently purchased in a yard sale,I removed a grey photo album.I placed it on the coffee table before moving towards the iPod docking station that stood silently beside the brown leather recliner.I then played the song that had forever remained on repeat.

“Tum hi mere har pal me,

Tum aaj me,tum kal me,

Hey Shona,Hey Shona”

With that,I returned to the recliner.I sat,in silence with the photo album in my hand and turned it open.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

There he was,one the very first page of the album,smiling like…like nothing had ever happened.

His eyes glistened with happiness.The beautiful glow on his face was untouched by pain that I was being consumed by.

Suddenly,I wanted to run my hands through his soft dark hair.I wanted to confess that I had not for a single minute,stopped loving him.I wanted to tell him that I had missed him every second of my life; how my heart ached without him by my side.

I wanted to tell him about the child I had adopted,whom I had given the name that we had decided to give to our child.I wanted him to know how much my heart craved for his one glance; how much I craved to hear his melodious and soothing voice.I wanted him to come back to me.

But I knew that would never happen.

Helplessly,I slid off the recliner to the carpeted floor,and buried my head in my hands.Tears poured out of my eyes,travelled along my arms and fell to the floor.The void that had been building inside me for years seemed to swallow me.

The unbearable pain however, was soon replaced by anger.

WHY DID I LET HIM GO?

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Consumed by rage,I grabbed the photo album and tossed it right at the floor mirror confronting me.

But unlike my shattered dreams of being his soul mate,the mirror only cracked.