My Love

“Come to bed, my love”

With the shards of my broken heart in my palm, I silently climbed into the bed and turned the lights off before he saw my heart bleed onto the mattress.
As I lay in the pool of pain, I wondered if I could call it our bed any longer. I wondered if he had called her ‘my love’ as well. I wondered if he loved her.

Today, five years after our union, I wondered if he had ever loved me.
“Do you love me?”

The words left my mouth before I realised. There was nervous silence in the air before he countered my question with another question.

“Do you feel I don’t?”
My mind was an empty courtroom for a second, before the audience walked in and started in my mind a proceeding, Prosecution against the Defence and I was on the Judge on a Throne of Thorns.

One side pressed on the other, compelling me take a decision in its favour, cuff the culprit and tell him I knew that I wasn’t the only one who had fulfilled his fantasies.

Meanwhile, the Defence talked of mistakes and about forgiveness being the way to a clean soul. It talked about my children, having to grow up without the shadow of a father above their heads.

“Tell me what you’re thinking” His voice bought me out of the courtroom, back to the cold bed.

The Judgement had to be passed here, and now.

Calmly, I replied.

“I was just thinking about your friend and..also, about getting a divorce, my love”